I'm old

Okay, so have you heard about this new-fangled contraption that kids these days have on their fancy cell phones? It's this really high-pitched ring tone that apparently anyone over the age of 20 can't hear. (I guess kids like it because they can have their phones on in class and their old-fogie teachers can't hear it). Anyways, I've thought this was all just bogus...until last night. At mutual all my girls were talking about it, and I didn't believe them, so we did an experiment. We made one girl stand outside the door with her phone so no one could see her, and then made all the other girls close their eyes and put their heads down, then when they heard it, they raised their hands. Each time their hands all shot up at the same time. What did I hear? NOTHING! Not until I put the phone right in my ear. I think my girls could tell it made me feel old, so they tried to comfort me by saying, "It's okay, my mom can't hear it either." My first thought was, "ya, but your mom is old! Old enough to have an 18 year old kid! I'm only 28!" But then I realized it doesn't matter - the line is drawn at 25. Once you pass the ripe old age of 25, it's all over from there. You may as well be 60 in the eyes of anyone who hasn't crossed the line yet. I may as well start buying orthopedic hose and oxygen tanks, because there's no going back. My name is Lisa Ann Merrell Wagenman, and I'm old.